This is a guest post about going on vacation without the kids from Jenny at dapperhouse. Jenny is a mother of three children ages 23, 19 and 11. She regularly blogs about issues that interest parents and particularly moms. Thanks, Jenny! This is full of wonderful advice.
If you could write a letter to your younger self what would you have to say? Would you use your hindsight to change some things, or would you do it the same all over again in a heartbeat? Now that I am in my 40’s my perspective on raising children has changed a bit. I never give regret or #mommyguilt a chance to pollute and destroy the present. I do however wish that I could have known some things back then that would have made my #parenting life a bit easier. For example, when I was younger and would leave my children to go out of town I would stress out so badly that I would break out in disgusting blister-like hives all over my face. Really! Every trip I took I would look like a diseased monster and be worried about my children the entire time. And what purpose did that serve? None. Looking back I realized I could have just enjoyed myself. It is okay to vacation without the kids!
Here is a letter to my younger self about going away without the kids.
Dear Younger Jenny,
You are going on vacation again and already stressing out before you leave. While there are many things that could go wrong and freak accidents that could occur in your absence, we need to talk about the amount of energy you devote to worry. Going over the many gruesome alternatives in your mind is not helping anything. Sure your plane could go down and someone else would have to raise your devastated children. You could drown in the ocean, get eaten by Sasquatch or abducted by aliens. Sure there are a million horrible things that could go wrong. . .
And what can you do to change this? You could NOT go on vacation, of course! You could stay home and control everything just perfectly so that nothing bad could happen. You know what? To be on the safe side you should take the children to the park. Oh, but don’t get into a car accident on the way. Hmmm. Perhaps taking the train to the museum would be safer. Yes. But don’t let one of the kids get lost in the crowd and be emotionally scarred for life.
Sure there are a million things that could go wrong. . .
Plane or car, water or crowds, bad things can happen. Good can happen too. And good happens much more frequently. (Take my advice young mother, no planes will go down and the kids will be just fine.)
Do you love your children even when you are not with them? Of Course you do! Continue to love your children with all your heart and allow yourself a clear conscience too. Have fun, relax and gather beautiful stories to share with your children when you are reunited. Smile and laugh and be blessed and love them all the same, near or far, together or apart.
Older and more experienced Jen.
What do you think about mommy guilt and leaving your children to enjoy yourself? Do you have a good time or spend your vacation worrying? Leave your comments below and tell us what YOU think.